What To Do When HR Is The Bully?

Human resources is supposed to be the engine that ensures the company is running smoothly.

The department is where you look to for help when you’re having conflict with coworkers or facing any kind of harassment or discrimination at work.

But what happens if HR is the one harassing you? Where do you turn then? Do you just throw your hands up in defeat and pray for them to show you mercy? Are there things you can do to fix the problem before it gets worse?

In this post, we’re going to walk you through what to do when HR is the bully so that you can continue doing your best work without constantly feeling like you’re walking on extremely thin ice.

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What to do when HR is the bully?

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Even if HR is the problem, there are still options you can explore to address the situation and stop the personnel from bullying you any further.

Here are a few ways you can approach the issue:

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1. Refer to the company’s policies for remedies

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Many companies, especially medium to large-sized ones typically have processes to handle workplace issues like bullying or reporting complaints involving HR.

Do a bit of research into the existing company policies and check to see if your organization has codes about what constitutes abuse, mistreatment, and bullying in the workplace.

It’s going to make it easier for you to present your case and for it to be taken seriously when you can point to a specific code of conduct that the HR personnel is breaking by acting the way they do towards you.

You should also look through your employee handbook or company policy document to see if there are instructions detailing what steps to take to report an HR manager abusing their authority or doing things that violate organizational procedures.

If your company has a guideline for addressing workplace issues with HR, give the internal resolution system a chance and follow the approach prescribed in the employee handbook.

This way they can’t turn around and claim they were unaware of the bullying you’re being subjected to if they do nothing about it after receiving your report and you decide to pursue other remedies available to you.

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2. Bring it up with the HR professional directly

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Whether or not the HR manager is intentionally picking on you and singling you out for disciplinary action, calling attention to their behavior can prompt them to course-correct and stop bullying.

The next time they do something to intimidate you, apologize for any disrespect you may have inadvertently sent their way. Then tell them how their actions are rude and improper, and that they impair the company’s values and culture.

Explain why their behavior is problematic and how it negatively impacts the team dynamic. Remind the person that you have treated them with nothing but respect in all your interactions and you deserve to have the same civility accorded to you.

Bullies thrive on watching the people they target resist them because it gives them a justification to harass you even more and make it seem like you’re to blame for what’s happening.

When you refuse to participate in this twisted theater and instead tender an apology and call out their misbehavior outright, you take away any ammunition the bully has. Chances are when you put the person on the spot, they will peacefully retreat and stop bullying you.

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3. Document every bullying incident

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Note down every bullying-related event that you’ve experienced at the hands of the human resources personnel or team. Keep a record of the locations, times, and dates when these incidents occurred and describe the offending behavior in as much detail as possible.

Chronicle what was said or done and the events that led to them. Write out the names of the specific individuals involved, when the bullying started, and any actions you’ve taken in the past to address the issue.

Also, make note of everyone present when the bullying happened so you know who to call upon to corroborate your story.

If you decide to take formal action, having a paper trail will strengthen your case by establishing a timeline of events and providing concrete examples of the workplace bullying you’ve been a victim of.

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4. Collect evidence to support your version of the event

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Higher management and even external adjudicators may be unwilling to reprimand the person or people bullying you when they’re not sure that the event happened.

You can avoid your complaint being regarded as another “he said, they said” by spending some time gathering evidence of the bullying to back up your complaints and demonstrate the events or behaviors you’re describing.

Gather all the written complaints that you’ve filed as well as the responses you got in return. Save any emails, documents, memos, messages, and other evidence that supports your claims.

If HR is covering their bullying by pretending that your job performance is the problem, get hold of documentation that shows you’ve been excelling in your role.

You’ll also need to put together a file for recognition or praise you’ve received from managers, clients, and other team members.

When you have overwhelming evidence on your side, you can compel the appropriate authorities to take action to put an end to the bullying.

Even if higher management is complicit or hesitant to do something about the issue, the fact that you have concrete proof can force them to act regardless.

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5. Submit a formal complaint to the head of the department

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If you’re being bullied by HR and the person bullying you is not the one running the team or the only member of the department, consider filing an official report against them with the head of HR.

Chances are they may not be aware of the inappropriate behaviors of their direct report so bringing it to their attention will enable them to fix the problem before it gets any worse.

Of course, this wouldn’t apply if you’re being harassed by different members of HR because that could mean that the department is acting in concert to create a hostile work environment for you.

Schedule a meeting with the HR team leader and explain what’s been happening, what you’ve tried to do to address the problem in the past without success, and how the behaviors violate company policies or put the department at risk.

If they appear concerned and sympathetic to your situation, find out what they plan to do to resolve the conflict and stop it from happening again.

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6. Escalate the issue to the top of the organization

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Assuming that your company runs a one-person HR department or that you’ve reported the bullying incidents to the head of HR and they did nothing, consider speaking to someone higher up in the company.

This includes the CEO, board members, and top-level executives without a direct connection to HR, who you think will be receptive to what you have to say.

It’s not a great idea to involve someone who has a familiar relationship with the bully such as their family member, work best friend, the person who hired them, or a leader who adores them.

When you find the right person to escalate the matter to, share your issue and show them any evidence you have. Instead of trying to get them to pity you and call the HR personnel to order, try to make your case about how the bully’s actions negatively impact the company.

Demonstrate how HR’s harassment campaign is costing the company money in terms of lost productivity, wastage of resources, voluntary turnover, absenteeism, and more.

Even if this person doesn’t really care that HR is intimidating people, they will certainly care that the actions you’re reporting are getting in the way of business profits.

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7. File a complaint with relevant external agencies

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Another thing you can do when HR is the bully and you feel that you can’t count on the organization to find an effective resolution to the problem is take your complaint to relevant external regulatory agencies.

This solution is ideal for when the acts of bullying are linked to a breach of ethics or law. Depending on the issue and the industry you’re in, there may be specific institutions that set the standards of operation and ensure they’re enforced.

Do some research to identify the appropriate agency to direct your complaint. You can also report the issue to an ombudsman, labor union, or your state’s labor department.

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8. Consider taking legal action

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If you’ve exploited all the internal avenues for conflict resolution and the bullying persists, it might be time to seek legal redress.

Depending on where you live, you may not have any remedies for workplace bullying under the law because the behaviors the HR personnel are displaying may not be illegal even though they are bad.

If HR is bullying you because of your age, race, gender, pregnancy, disability, religious beliefs, or other protected categories, you have a strong legal case.

However, if they’re bullying you and others just because there may not be much that can be done under the law unless the behavior also constitutes harassment.

Talk to an employment attorney to see if your rights are being violated and whether the facts of your case qualify you for protection under the law. Your attorney will advise you on the best steps to take to rectify your situation.

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9. Start searching for a new job

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When HR is the bully, they can be very good at covering their track and can get away with harassing you by doing things that are not outrightly illegal.

If you can’t pursue legal action and the company’s higher-ups are reluctant to put an end to the bullying, that leaves you with only two options.

You can either grow a tougher skin and learn to live with the situation or start looking to switch companies so you never have to deal with the bully ever again.

Once you feel that the harassment is starting to affect your performance and well-being or make you dread going to work, update a resume and start applying to open positions.

Don’t wait until they break your spirit, start looking for a new job as soon as possible. It’s better to go where you can get a fresh start than to keep trying unsuccessfully to get your current employer to fix the issue.

Make sure you read employee reviews on platforms like Glassdoor before applying to a company to ensure that they don’t also have a bullying problem.

Best practices for dealing with HR-related issues

Here are some tips you can use to handle workplace conflicts and bullying better and help them resolve faster:

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1. Address the issue sooner, rather than later

Keep the bullying from progressing further by speaking up against it the instant it happens. If you resist the behavior immediately, the bully won’t start seeing you as a target and will likely move on to someone else who won’t put up much of a fight.

You might think that if you simply ignored the problem, it’d go away but it is not always the case, and not worth risking. Instead, the bullying may escalate and become more severe and constant.

So no matter how uncomfortable or nervous you feel in the moment, try to stand tall, hold your face up, and call the person’s attention to what they just did. Then mention how this kind of behavior is uncalled for in the workplace and detrimental to everyone.

Ask them to refrain from speaking to you in this way or treating you disrespectfully in the future.

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2. Stick to proper codes of conduct

No matter how frustrated you get because of HR’s antics, do not let your anger take over and cause you to do something rash. Try to maintain your cool and respond professionally.

When making your complaint, stick to the facts and the evidence that proves what you’re saying and avoid leveling personal attacks, raising your voice, or worse, throwing hands.

The last thing you want is for people to see you as violent, unstable, or unprofessional because it might make them less likely to believe you’re telling the truth about being bullied.

3. After yourself

Dealing with constant harassment at work can take a toll on your mental and physical health. So while you’re taking steps to stop HR from continuing to bully you, prioritize self-care.

Find pockets of joy to hold on to and replenish your morale outside of work. It can be anything from going to the gym, baking treats, hanging with friends and family, or watching comfort shows.

If the situation is starting to negatively impact your quality of life and destroy your self-worth, consider getting help from a therapist to help you unpack the experience and help you feel like yourself again.

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Conclusion

Work should be about doing the job you’re paid to do. You might as well be making some good friends along the way.

However, you shouldn’t be spending time at the office dealing with indignities, mind games, or micro, passive, and full-on aggression from HR or anybody else.

Always remind yourself that you don’t deserve to be bullied. Take the right steps when required to stamp out the problem once and for all.